Season 4 - complete transscripts of the eps
(transcription by Ramona Deininger ( http://www.crowwings.com) - spring 2004)

This is not meant to be any violation of courtesy or copyrights. The texts are still Salter Street Films / Paul Donovans / Lexx Gigeroffs - but the transscripts were my effort and work. Please keep that in mind when quoting or posting them!

4.07 - Walpurgis night 

The moth flying through the moon glowing night.

Stan: "OK, I have seen enough, let's go back to the Lexx."
Xev flying the moth: "Stanley, this is important to Kai."
Stan: "Wow Xev, it may be important to the dead but it is not at all important to the living. (to Kai) How come you so motived to do this?"
Kai: "As you know I have the many thousands of memories of those killed by his Divine Shadow. Dark knowledge of one of those memories leads me here."
Stan scared: "OK, that's it, Xev, turn this bug around right now!"
Xev: "Stan, I just want Kai to have his fun, hah?"
Stan: "I am sorry, Xev, the dead do not have fun."
The moth flies over some thick forests.
Xev: "Where are we now?"
Kai: "Transylvania."
Xev: "There, a clearing."
And Xev lands the moth on it.

When they leave the moth Kai is first and holding a little light lamp - actually, it looks like a bug with a bio-chemical light on its butt. And it's very dark and scary. Stan doesn't want to leave the moth. A thunder is growling. Several wolves are howling.
Stan: "I'll just stay right here."
But after a very short while he changes his mind and runs after them.
Stan: "Don't say a word."
Xev: "I won't. Except that you're entering stage two."
Stan: "Stage two?"
Xev: "The three stages of Stanley H. Tweedle. - (Three fingers) - When you are not scared you are hungry. - (One finger) - When you are not hungry, you can only think about sex. - (two fingers) - when you're not thinking about sex, you are scared."
Stan: "Very funny."
Some bats are flying high in the sky and descend right toward the crew.
Stan: "What's making those noises?"
Kai: "They are bats."
Stan: "What are bats?"
Kai: "Flying mammals common to Earth. Several species of which are known to suck the blood of large animals."
Stan: "All right."
And suddenly one of the bats is attacking him. Several follow. Stan and Xev start running towards a village at the end of the road. And above it a castle. But Kai suddenly stops dead.
Stan: "Kai?"
Xev turns around.
Xev: "What is it?"
Kai shows the picture of the castle he got printed out by Tina. From the ancient movie.
Kai: "It is what I have come for."
And Kai takes the lead towards the village.

Trailer

The crew still under attack of the bats enters the village.
Stan: "Ey, gyeygeygeyyyye."
They finally reach the village and run along one dark street. There is one pub sign, saying: Cioara. They enter there. Kai first, then Stan, Xev last.
When Kai enters the inn it suddenly turns very silent. The locals look shocked. Three goth chicks at one corner of the room look very interested on Kai. The bartender stops dead, also a priest on one table.
Stan: "Mh, oh me."
The priest approaches them, holding a crucifix in front of his chest.
Priest: "Those of the devil leave here. This is still a place of god, this is still a place of light."
He fumbles with a crucifix in front of Kai's face. Kai watches him and then takes the necklace.
Kai: "Thank you for your gift."
Priest: "Leave here, leave here."
Kai gives the necklace to Stan.
Stan: "Yeah, I will be happy to leave. Since the bats clear up."
Kai goes to the bar. And shows his print of the castle. The old priest follows him.
Kai: "I have come here to find whoever lives in this castle."
Bartender: "You heard Father Borscht. You are not welcome here."
Bartender drinks off his pint. Xev and Stan join Kai at the bar.
Xev: "Well, then we will leave. But before we do so, I was hoping to take a nice hot bath and wash all this nasty dirt from my aching naked body."
The bartender swallows.
Bartender: "Ah, Borscht, perhaps we can let them stay for a while. - The bats will settle in a minute or two."
He grabs one lighted candle and shows Xev the way. Kai in the meanwhile faces the priest besides him on the bar.
The goth chicks follow Xev. 

The bats are still haunting the village while Xev takes a bath in a primitive small metal tube.

On one of the tables of the bar sits Kai and carves something out of a wooden branch - with his brace thing. The bartender just returns from the rooms upstairs with his candle.
Stan on the bar: "Ah, let me see, I want a slap of your finest, rearest meat and don't bother give me any of this green stuff with it."
But instead he gets a glass filled with booze.
Stan: "I asked for food not water."
Bartender: "This taverne doesn't have food. Drink it."
Stan does. And suddenly pads the surface of the bar, that hurt!
Stan: "That's not water!"
Bartender: "Your friend, he likes to carve sticks?..."
Stan: "He likes to carve because he is dead."

The cutting Kai is approached by the old priest Borscht. The man sits down on the opposite side of Kai's table.
Borscht: "I asked you to leave. We don't want your kind here."
Kai: "You seem to believe I am something that I am not."
Pushed: "Oh, I believe in many things. And ... I know who you are."
He is pointing his finger on Kai.
Kai: "Have you encountered something like me before?"
Borscht: "This land is full of darkness and less ... when I was a young man, I met the master of them all. Its skin was cold ..."
Pushed touches Kai's hand. And oh wonder, it is also cold.
Borscht: "... and white like yours."
Kai: "Where can I find this master?"
Borscht: "The master is never found, the master finds you."
And Kai continues carving.

Xev still taking her bath, enjoying and singing to herself. When suddenly the three goth chicks arrive and hold one rat over her head. Xev has nothing better to do than to just eat it with one big bite.
Blond: "You absolute bitch, you ate my rat!"
Xev returns the rat tail.
Xev: "I am sorry."
She offers them her hand for a shake.
Xev: "Xev, Xev Bellringer."
Red: "Davinia Silver."
Black: "Mandragora Morghana."
Blond: "And I am Muffy. - Where are you from?"
Xev: "B3K."
Davinia : "Where is that?"
Xev: "In the light universe. - I grew up in a box there."
Davinia : "And we grew up in Scotland, we can simplifies."
Xev: "Is that around here?"
Mandragora: "No, we are on a package holiday. Transylvania is so much more 'us'."
Xev is confused.
Muffy: "The man in black with you is also so much more 'us'. What do you say?"
Xev: "If you like the dead."
All three kneel down beside Xev's bath tub.
All together: "We do!"

Borscht: "The master never ventures forth from the castle, preferly to sit on a throne of coffins like a spider in the center of its web. But beware for sometimes the spider has to run further. But once caught they become slaves. I thought perhaps ... that you are such a slave."
Kai: "I am not."
Borscht: "No, no, you are not. But my son. - Kill the spider!"
Kai: "If I can I will."
And Borscht gives him a piece of paper. Kai unfolds it. It shows a black and white drawing with a figure lying in a coffin/cryo pod and above it is the cluster sign. Below the first drawing is another one with three witch women. Kai is clearly thinking deeply about this.
Stan still on the bar, drunk. The three goth chicks arrive from upstairs. And right behind them Xev in a new outfit: a German traditional dirndl, a dress.
Stan: "Hey Xevy-baby, wow, new look."
Xev: "It is called a 'dirndl'."
Stan: "Makes me think of mountains."
Xev: "What are you drinking, Stan?"
Stan: "Water, special, special mountain water. - Hey Kai, you need a new look. Maybe you should wear one of this dribbles."
Kai just finished his carving, got up and is ready to leave!
Xev: "Dirndl. - Kai?"
Xev hurries after him.
Stan: "Hey, Xev, wait up."
Kai leaves through the door to the street, Xev follows.
Stan to the bartender: "Hey, mh, just give me another glass of that water, just one more."

Xev: "Kai, wait!"
Kai: "Xev, the bats have gone. Stay at the inn. I have something I must do. Alone."
Xev: "I know you have something to do here. And I am here to help you."
Kai: "You can not help me. "
Xev smiling: "You think you always have to protect Stan and me. And most of the time it's probably true. But sometimes we can help you."
But Kai is just leaving her behind. She runs after him.
Xev: "Hey, Kai...!"

Stan still drinking. The bartender joins him.
Stan: "Look, I am really, really hungry. You gonna have something here I can eat. Just some little thing."
Bartender: "On Walpurgis Night is a great feast prepared at the castle."
Stan: "Oh, when is this Walpurgis Night?"
Bartender: "Tonight."
Stan: "Well, that's where I am going."
Bartender: "Tell me, Capt. Tweedle was it? Have you ever heard of vampires?"
Stan: "Vampires? Ah. No."
bartender: "The peasants believe, all vampires are immortal. The damned, the curse of this land. It's hardly something an educated men believes in these days. But still ... it's a brave man, who takes up an invitation to dine at Lord Dracul's table on Walpurgis Night."
Stan: "Oh, Stanley H. Tweedle is a brave man. Well, you know, more or less ... depending on circumstances."
Bartender: "They say, the crucifix you re wearing around your neck is one of the few things that can deter a vampire from its hunger. A vampire will make no reflection in a mirror. Garlic, holy water, the relics of the blessing are suppose to protect you as well."
The bartender shows Stan all this stuff and puts it in front of him on the bar table. But Stan refuses it.
Stan: "I don't need any of that stuff."
Bartender: "The villagers will tell you, that Lord Dracul, Count Vorga, is a vampire, and commit to tell you this nonsense because they believe it themselves - but really ... Dracul is nothing more than I am: a ruined old drunk."
Borscht: "I too am a ruined old drunk - and it is not nonsense!"
Stan: "Okay, who do I believe?"
Borscht leaves the pub.
Bartender: "Believe me. It was my family who hunted vampires for generations. Believe me because I came to Vorga seeking to claim my birthright as destroyer of Dracul and found nothing but smoke and the mirrors... and peasants living in the shadows of ancient superstitions. Believe me because my name is Joseph Van Helsing!"
And he drinks one more.
Stan: "See, can I get some garlic and stuff from you, you know, just to be on the safe side?"

On the street Kai and Xev.
Kai: "In death I have been a great darkness, but I know there are shadows that run darker still!"
Xev serious: "Kai!"
She turns him around, very worried now, but then a scream! Both run back to the inn.

At the front entrance a gathering of people and locals, and the goth chicks, surrounding a pool of blood on the ground, with only one blood dripping necklace in it. Kai takes it. It's the crucifix of Father Borscht.
Kai: "Father Borscht."
Muffy: "Looks, we are in for some action, girls!"
Van Helsing: "You can believe all you want to believe. It's smoke and mirrors, I tell you. All smoke and mirrors."
A car is approaching, a black old limousine. It covers all the people in front of the inn in its headlights. Out comes a mad looking man, who is wearing a dirty female white dress. One wolfe howls in the distance.
Man: "Will you be dining with us tonight, Van Helsing?"
Van Helsing: "No, thank you, Renfield."
Renfield: "Anyway, the feast is ready. Count Dracul receives all who wish to dine with him."
Muffy: "Count us in, mighty boy. - We didn't come here for the sunshine."
And the three goth chicks enter the car.
Kai: "I would also like to meet this Dracul."
Xev follows Kai to the car.
Stan: "Ahm, I'm gonna stick with Kai and Xev."
Renfield is very satisfied and returns to the driver seat of the car.

Xev on the front seat beside Renfield. The interior is old and dirty and in front of the window dangles a glueing flytrap. Renfield inspects the trap and chooses one of the trapped flies from it.
Renfield: "Sssshshhhshhhsssssssh. - whooo - no hands."
He chooses one and eats it! Then he looks at Xev, which is observing him.
Renfield: "Does my diet disgust you?"
Xev: "No."

The car drives through thick forests and wolves are howling.
On the back seats all three goth chicks surround and hug and snuggle Kai.
Muffy: "Mh, I think, Xev is right. You're absolute really dead/death."
Kai: "I have killed many people."
Davinia : "Would you kill me?"
Mandragora: "I am sure, he'd much rather kill me."
Davinia  tries to kiss Kai.
Stan: "So, girls. Lots of room over here."
He sits all on his own on the opposite seat.
Mandragora: "And how many people have you killed, Mr. Tweedle?"
Stan: "Oh I lost count after I blew up my first planet."
Muffy to Kai: "I bet when you kill someone, you like to get ... up close and personal, don't you, Kai?"
Kai: "As an assassin of the Divine Order I obeyed the instructions of His Divine Shadow precisely."
Mufrin licks his white cheek.
Kai: "Sometimes I killed very slowly to draw out the suffering."
They all groan.
Davinia : "Do you have a special way, Mr. Tweedle?"
Stan: "Oh, I have a special way to do... everything."
And they drive and drive through the forests. Thunders and lightning!
Kai does not care about the goth chicks all-around and over him, but instead he gives something to Stan.
Kai: "I have carved something for you, Stanley."
Stan: "What's this?"
Suspiciously looking at the wooden thing in his hand. Actually it resembles a little bit of a dick.
Kai: "An alcarino. When blown correctly it should imitate the meeting call of our moths."
Stan: "Meeting call, hhh? Well, you know, thanks Kai, but I don't find our moths attractive in any way."
Kai: "Someday you may. If I have a problem return with Xev in the moth to the Lexx, then destroy this planet immediately."
Stan: "Yeah, I've been in favor for doing that for some time, Kai old-pal."

The car stops in front of the main gate of the castle, but Kai does not wait for it to open. He opens the door of the car and fires his brace thing at the roof of the castle and pulls himself up.
Stan: "He does that alot. - Okay, so, now .... Who wants to come over and sit next to Stan, the man."
But the goth chicks are not interested, they start to snuggle themselvesand Muffy instead.
Stan: "Oh, come on, girls. I'm gonna be dead someday too, you know."
Davinia : "Soon. - Hopefully."
Stan grins uncomfortable.
The car stops in front of the main front door of the main wing of the castle. They all leave the car, Stan looks uncomfortable and has all this garlic-stuff around his neck.
Renfield: "This way."
He opens the door, in the meanwhile Kai enters the castle from the rooftop.
The door opens into a great hall with an even larger stairway. Looks medieval.
Xev: "Where is Kai?"
Stan: "I don't know. He fired his brace and disappeared."
Xev: "Where?"
Stan: "I don't know. Somewhere. I don't really like it."
Renfield hurries toward the stairway. While the rest of the group is still waiting at the door.
Davinia : "When I'll get home I am definitely doing my bedroom like this."
Muffy: "Make a change from all this Britney posters."
Renfield sniffing: "Sssh, silence."
Dracul on top of the stairs: "My friends, my children, welcome to my home."
He looks like a bad imitation of Christopher Lee in his best, actually he looks like the bad idea of a vampire.
Dracul: "Welcome to Castle Dracul."
The lord throws his black cape around him and descends the stairs.
Stan: "The ... ah, the guy at the inn said something about food."
Dracul: "Of course. The feast awaits."
And Dracul points at a side corner of the main hall.
Stan: "Oho, now we are talking."
They all start walking towards it. Xev hugs Stanley and whispers into his ears.
Xev: "Be careful, Stanley, if he worries Kai, then I guess he should worry us, too?"
Stan: "Don't worry, I've got protection."
And he points at his garlic necklaces.

Kai got some candle lamp for his tour through the castle and descends a dark and full of spider webs long stairway of one of the towers. When he finally reaches one very large spider web, he cuts through it with his brace thing. Nobody walked this hallway for a long time.

Dracul sharpens a large knife to cut some meat prepared on the table, the feast is looking very tasty. Stan tries a few bites when Xev only drinks water and watches their host.
Dracul: "I must congratulate Renfield. He's chosen the most attractive guests for me on this Walpurgis Night."
Xev: "We chose to come here by ourselves, Lord Dracul."
Muffy smoking a cigarette: "And your dribblig."
She throws Xev a long look.
Dracul: "In that case I will ensure that pleasure is all yours."
Stan: "This pie, it is delicious. What's in it?""
Dracul: "Dead things."
Xev: "What dead things?"
Dracul: "Just dead things."
Stan: "Right."
And he spits the bites all out into his napkin.

Thunder and lightning in the sky around the castle.
Mandragora: "The tour book says you were throwing a feast like this on Walpurgis Night for years."
Dracul fills up the glasses of his guests with wine.
Dracul: "For centuries. My family has always liked to invite local people."
Davinia : "I prefer bite."
Muffy makes her a face.
Davinia : "What?"
Muffy: "God, Darvi, take a look in the mirror some time."
And she throws her little vanity one in Davinia 's direction - she got some traces of the wine on her lips left. But Stan sitting just beside Davinia  catches it instead. The count is just behind Stan's chair. So Stan tries the mirror-reflection-thing.
Van Helsing's voice: "A vampire will make no reflection in a mirror."
And true it is, there is no Dracul to be seen standing behind Stan's chair in the mirror!
Stan is shocked, but the Lord actually moved away and is facing Stan now from the opposite side of the table. Grinning.
Dracul: "Is there a problem, Mr. Tweedle?
Stan hasting to close the mirror: "Aaah, I, I was just wondering.... Can I... can I have some more of that dead ... dead thing pie?"
Dracul: "Help yourself."
All the girls on the table seem to flirt with each other or with the count now, and Xev flirts with a long line of big, fat sausages.
Dracul: "Your skin is so youthful, so alive!"
Stan: "She is 4000 years old."
Dracul: "Then like me you are well preserved."
Dracul touching Xev's hair: "Oh, you should wear your hair up. - It accentuates your neck."
Dracul touches her neck with one long fingernail who seems to contain a spick. So that it draws one tear of blood.
Dracul leaning very close over her neck: "Now, tell me, there was another with you, a man in black. Where is he now?"
Stan: "He went outside ... ah ... to pick flowers."
Dracul: "The only flowers in my forests are poisonous."
Xev smiles, her face now very close to the count's.
Dracul: "Tell me."
It looks like a kiss, but at the very last moment Dracul only kisses her neck with the tear of blood.
Xev: "He went looking for bats."
Stan finally gets up in a hurry and fumbles inside his suit and recovers: his whole collection of garlic, crucifix and holy water.
Dracul retreats with a sssssssssssssh.
Stan: "See, I knew it, I knew it, he's a vampire. Have a taste of this, Dracy."
Renfield pads Stan's shoulder from behind.
Renfield: "Mr. Tweedle, - sit down!"
The shocked Dracul recovers from an almost heartattack.
Dracul: "Oh yes, it's all right, Renfield. My guests must forgive me. I have not had company in quite some time and my manners have all but died."
Renfield: "Master, I am really sorry but I come with terrible news. The wolves are broad. No journey-man will reach the village alive."
Renfield surrounds the table and sniffles at the guests.
Dracul: "Oh, what a pity, it seems you will all stay here tonight."
Xev: "Why?"
Dracul: "Wolves are very ferocious animals."
Xev: "So?"
Stan: "So? We don't go anywhere near them."
Xev: "But maybe they taste good?"
Renfield: "Ah, the rains. The rains washed away the bridge."
Xev: "Oh."
Renfield: "Over the river..."
Stan: "OK, how do we get out of here?"
Muffy grins: "We're staying."
Dracul: "I'm afraid you have very little choice. You will stay here with me. Renfield, take our guests to their rooms. And prepare one more. I have a feeling of another very special guest tonight."
Kai just appears in one of the top corners of the great hall, and the lord just looks up to watch him.
Dracul: "It is just a shame I've not met him yet."
Renfield and Stan also look up. Kai looks down at them.

Renfield shows all of them the way to their rooms.
Stan: "Can't you see, Xev...? Can't you see, how he is part of them? I knew he was a vampire.
Xev: "I don't care what he is. But we have to find Kai and let him do whatever it is he came here to do."
Stan: "But what about the girls? Maybe I can help them, too?"
The three goth chicks just pass Stan and Xev and walk upstairs.
Davinia : "Dracul is so mine."
Muffy: "He is so mine."
Mandragora: "No girls, we are all his."
Xev grins: "I think the girls will be just fine."
Stan: "Yeah, butbutbut maybe I can save them. So Kai can do whatever he is doing, and I can save the girls. I've got the technology."
Xev: "Stan, I think we can give you a new stage, stage four for 'stupidity'?"
Stan: "Hah, you wish!"
And he follows the girls upstairs. This second Xev gets touched on her shoulder by Kai from one of the dark corners behind her. She turns.
Xev: "Kai."
And hugs him bigtime.
Xev: "I am so pleased to see you."
Kai: "I can see that. The count is not what Stanley understands to be a vampire."
Xev: "Are these vampire things that why we come here?"
Kai: "Yes and no."
Xev: "What do you mean?"
Kai: "I may not be the only creature to have survive the fall of the cluster. Another being similar to me may also have escaped from the light universe."
He walks with her a few meters into another hallway.
Xev: "How? It's been 4000 years since the light universe was destroyed. Wouldn't it need proto blood to keep going?"
Kai: "Proto blood or a cryo pod where it could remain in frozen sleep."
Xev: "So you think there is another Devine Assessin on this planet?"
Kai: "The Divine Order commanded greater hunters than the Divine Assassins. Sometimes an assessin would malfunction, so His Shadow developed a special breed of super assassins designed to hunt down and destroy those, who - like me - failed to serve his purposes."
Xev: "Alright well, if there is one here we have to find his cryo chamber and destroy it."
Kai: "We can try, but we must be careful. - "
He turns around to get his lamp from one of the corners.
Kai: "I've been in hives like this before. There are the kind of place where people tend to ... vanish."
That's what just happened to Xev. Where she was, there is suddenly a new wall. And Kai touches it surprised, then walks on now again on his own.

Renfield opens one of the tower chambers and leads the girls inside.
Renfield: "You can all stay here tonight. Oh, and stay blithe ... the master may seek your audience."
Stan is the last in line to enter the spartanic room.
Renfield (whispering and closing the door): "... seek your audience ... yeah."
Stan: "Mh, only one bed."
Which he immediatelly occupies.
Stan: "So which one of you girls wants to enjoy the pleasure of being saved by me first."
Commander: "You don't get it, do you, Mr. Tweedle?"
Davinia : "We don't want to be saved."
Muffy: "Show him, girls."
And all three show Stan tattoos they all have on their necks. Stan gets up and inspects it. "AB" and "0-" the tattoos show.
Stan: "Ah, yes, very nice. So what does all that mean?"
Muffy: "Our blood types. We thought the count might want to know how play with his getting."
Stan: "You mean, you'd rather have him bite you ...?"
All three: "Yes."
Stan: "... than have a good time with me?"
All three: "Yes."
Stan disgusted: "You are very sick individuals!"
Muffy: "We are goths."
Stan tries to leave but the door is locked.

Kai in the meantime follows the stairs downward, endless stairways. Finally he finds a stone coffin at one bottom cellar crypt.
He inspects it, compares it with the drawing on the piece of paper he got from Father Borscht. He puts down his lamp and cleans the graving from spider webs. Labeled: "Dracul".
Right then one old-fashioned pistol barrel approaches his neck slowly from behind. Renfield. But Kai is so much faster ... and grabs it - from the small man.
Renfield madly smiling: "Hehahaha ... Rich Renfield at your service. - So..."
Kai throws the pistol on the floor.
Renfield: "... you are a hunter of vampires."
Kai: "I am a hunter, but not of vampires."
Renfield: "Ah, really? ... And what do you hunt?"
Kai: "I once hunted people, but today I hunt a greater evil."
Renfield: "What... what... what greater evil?"
Renfield surrounds the coffin and gets it between himself and Kai.
Kai: "Perhaps the darkness that spawned your vampire legends."
Renfield: "And it seems you know the truth behind the vail."
Kai eager: "What lies behind the vail?"
Renfield: "My great-grandfather was the first of my family to encounter the master."
Renfield jumps up on the top of the stone coffin.
Renfield: "He discovered an ancient myth, one of the demon who fell the Earth Weakened by its fall the demon needed to find more of its blood. So it took two men and women, made them hunger for the blood of their own. Now they would serve the demon, but drawing in prey in return. The demon would nocture them ..."
Kai does not seem to listen very carefully, but is very interested in the coffin's content now. And suddenly he just throws open the heavy cover of the coffin. Renfield jumps down.
And inside: Father Borscht. Dead - covered in white linen.
Kai: "Father Borscht. He spoke of the master of the land who could create servants to do his bidding."
Renfield: "Well, if you like... and there's absolutely no obligation ... I can show you the true origin of the myth of the vampire."
Renfield takes Kai's lamp and humbles forward, Kai follows.

Xev reaches a bedroom, exploring it, while Dracul stands at the window looking out!
Xev: "Dracul! What is going on here?"
Dracul holding a cup of wine in his hand.
Dracul: "This castle is very old, Xev. It has many secrets. Just like you."
Xev almost shy like a virgin: "I don't have any secrets." 
Dracul: "Aha, would you care for some wine?"
Xev: "Sure!"
He hands her the cup. She takes a small sip.
Xev: "Aren't you going to have some too?"
Dracul: "No." 
But he watches her empty the cup. 
Xev: "lt's good."
Dracul: "You are very beautiful, Xev."
He comes closer. 
Xev: "Thank you. I wasn't always, you know?" 
Dracul: "Such a hair, such eyes. Such lips."
Very close now for a kiss. 
Dracul: "Such life!" 
Xev: "Dracul - do you want me? Because I tell you something. You can have me! I am a love slave."
Dracul seems to be shocked? Or surprised. 
Dracul: "Oh, interesting."
Xev: "I'll do anything."
Dracul: "I see. You wish for my embrace?"
Xev: "For starters anyway. So how about it?"
She seems suddenly confused and takes another sip off the cup.
Dracul: "More wine?"
Xev: "Yes. Please." 
She opens her lips and closes her eyes, when Dracul leans over her and she sinks unconciously down on the bed. 

Stan in panic running from one wall to the other; the girls watching him. 
Stan: "Okay. Listen. Okay. Listen
okay. Listen. Okay. Listen. First we find Xev and then we get out of here. Nono. First we get out of here and then we find Xev."
He throws one girl from her seat at the widow sink and takes a look out: a high tower and Stan on the top. 
Stan: "Hoho. Definitely not getting out that way. I tried the door before, right?"
And he tries it again. 
Muffy: "Three times."
Stan in panic rattling on it
Stan: "Ooooh - help! Help! I am stuck in here with three girls wearing too much make-up who wants somebody to suck their blood! 
Davinia  upset: "Hey, we are not wearing too much make-up!"
The door gets unlocked and opened. Hits Stan in his face! 

Dracul: " All my children, your time has come!"
Stan with hurt nose tries to protect the girls: "Sorry to break the news to you, pal - but nobody's sucking anybody's blood arround here, where Stan the man is in charge!"
He holds up his garlic chain and cruxifixes. But Dracul just keeps coming, covered in his black cape. 
Dracul: "I am sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Tweedle. But that will not work on me this time."
Muffy from behind: "Get with the plan, Stan. We invited the man, and that destroys any power you may have over him."
Stan: "You stay out of this, l'm gonna save you, whether you like it or not!"
Stan helds up the garlic.
Stan: "Hah!"
Dracul: "Oh no hoho - garlic just gives me bad breathe.
Stan tries the relicts and the holy water! All his stuff in turns - and backs away while doing it. 
Dracul: "Sorry. No. No. Sorry."
Stan panicks and is on the window sink now! Climbing it up. Dracul comes closer! 
Stan threats: "Don't make me jump!"
All three girls: "Jump!"
Dracul: "Yes. Jump. It'll tenderize you. ls there anything else you'd like to try on me?"
Stan: "Yeah."
And he finally remembers the carved flute by Kai. And whistles it. The moth hears it and jump away from the clearing! 
Girls embarassed, Dracul amused.
Dracul: "Oh really, I was at least expecting a gun!"
Stan gives up: "Okay. What can I say? You win, I loose." 
Dracul: "That's right. We win. You die!"
And Muffy throws Stan over the edge! The other two girls yell.
Girls: "Jump! Jump!"
But Stan grabs Muffy's arm and takes her with him! Both scream and fall, but the moth catches them on its back!
Stan too afraid to open his eyes: "Are we dead yet?" 
Muffy hits him on his back: "You bastard!"
Stan: "Don't believe it, it worked!
Muffy: "You absolut bastard!"
Stan climbs to the moth door at the front.
Stan yells: "Oh Kai, think, I love you!"

Renfield shows Kai a special, very dark hallway of the castle.
Renfield: "I've got to tell you, it's taken an age to find a man worthy of taking this path and I'm quitely confident that you were that man. Enter. What? You have fear?"
Kai: "No, as I can not feel the emotion."
Renfield: "What is holding you back?"
Kai now very close in front of Renfield.
Kai threatening: "Perhaps you should have fear. If this is a trap, I will kill you."
Renfield: "Yeah. Enter. Please. Please."
And Kai does. Leaving Renfield with his lamp behind. Renfield laughs satisfied and prepares to pull on a special trigger on the wall, a metal ring. This causes a metal chain to appear from above. Renfield pulls at it and a metal cage closes in front of the entrance of the hallway, where Kai just passed. His retreating path is blocked now.
Kai in the middle of the hallway encounters another metal cage half, picked with spikes inside, and it closes on Kai. Blocking his way further. So he retreats and finds there the other half of the cage blocking the exit. They both are coming closer and closer and finally pick Kai, penetrate him and close him in the middle of the sarkophag-like cage, which Renfields inspects. The spikes outside drip wet.
Renfield: "Say 'hello' to mummy."

Stan with Muffy in the moth above some thick forests leaving the castle.
Stan: "You are worried about your friends?"
Muffy: "They might be vampires by now. Lucky bitches. - Are you back going for your friends?"
Stan: "Oh I really, really, really don't want to go back there. Neither should you."
Muffy: "Look, if I'm not getting off for Dracul and I am definitely getting off for Kai."
Stan: "They don't deserve my help, but I, but I will go back and help. As long as I had another glass of that funny water they have had at the inn."
Muffy amused: "You mean 'booze'."
Stan: "Booze, that's a good name for it. Booze."
Thunder and lightning at the background.

Dracul with the two left goth girls: "Well. At least I still have two." (to Mandragora) - "You, you first."
And he starts to embrace her. And tries to suck her neck. But instead she smashes him.
Dracul: "Uh!"
Mandragora: "Hahaha, fangs off."
Dracul: "You will serve me, I am a vampire."
Davinia : "Don't think so."
And Mandragora takes off Dracul's false teeth. And throws the plastic thing at the floor.
Dracul: Oh, you have de-fanged me."
Mandragora steps on them.
Dracul: "I am supposed to bite things."
Commander: "Right. You bite all right, you also suck."
Dracul: "How dare you talk to me like that! I am Dracul."
Mandragora: "You are nothing, bat boy. You let Captain Tweedle get away."
Dracul: "Ah, yes, but I have the girl, Xev. I captured her for you."
Davinia  takes Mandragora's hand they both grin and leave.
Davinia : "Cool."
Mandragora: "Mh, jummy."

Renfield lifts the spike sarcophag up right to the ceiling of the great dining hall, Kai still trapped inside.
Renfield dancing: "There....heyheyhey. hehehe."

The moth flies back to the village. It lands in front of the inn. Stan enters it. All the customers look up and be suddenly quiet. The wolves are still hawling outside!
Stan tired: "All right, alright. - Drink!"
At the bar, Van Helsing still is the bartender.
Stan: "Five drinks. All booze."
One of the villagers approaches Stan and inspects his neck.
Stan: "Hey!"
Man: "You survived the Count's feast."
Stan: "Barely."
And he takes his drink. 
Helsing: "Of course he survived."
Man: "Dracul is a curse on us. He does not just rule this land, he drains it off life."
Muffy looks uncomfortable.
Stan: "Yeah, he might, he might put off your head and spits down your throat. He might ... ah ... rip open your ... ah guts and use them to make little baskets."
And he drinks one more. He belches. Muffy lights her cigarette.
Muffy: "You are so embarrassing."
Stan: "And so what? This could be your chance. This could be your one chance. To show him that ... sure... he can... he can take your finest, rarest meats. And he can take care of... your other things. But he can not take your freedom."
And suddenly all over the just get up and yell. Stan drinks one more.
Man: "Did you have any good food up there?"
Stan: "We've got 'dead thing pie'."
Man: "I love 'dead thing pie'!"
All other customers: "I love DEAD THING PIE!
Stan: "Hey, guys, I think I need bigger weapons tonight."
Stan means all the forks and such the villagers hold up.
All men leaving the inn: "Dead thing pie! Dead thing pie!"
They gripped each farming tools, and a tumult raises.
Helsing: "Finally some progress in this peasant's life."
Man shouts: "To the castle."
Muffy passes Stan who joins the crowd. Fumbling at his garlic necklace. Stan turns around to face helsing.
Stan: "Aren't you coming?"
Helsing returns to his bar. Stan follows.
Stan: "Hey! Hey, hey. I thought you said vampires didn't exist. That it was all nonsense."
Helsing: "They don't exist. At least I don't think they existed. But... I... I can't go up there."
Helsing closes the door behind him and leaves Stan outside. Stan hesitates, grabs one clean sweeper and then finally follows the mob.
Stan shouting: "Dead thing pie!"
Other man behind him: ".. dead thing pie!"

Xev asleep on her bed, now only dressed in a little white night dress. She awakes and notices her new outfit. She gets up and takes a look out of the window. Then she hears something. The girls calling for her.
Girls: "Xev. Xev."
The two goth chicks both enter the room.
Mandragora: "We come to be with you, Xev."
Xev: "Have you been eaten yet?"
Davinia : "We were eaten a long time ago."
Xev: "Oh."
Davinia  touches Xev: "Now ... we want to eat you."
Xev playing along: "Huh."
Davinia : "After all you're young and strong and full of kisses."
Xev climbs on the bed and offers her lips to the girls.
Xev: "Sure I am. Full of kisses for everyone."
She also touches Mandragora's face. Then she falls down on the bed.

The mob on their way to the castle: "Dead thing pie! ... dead thing pie! ..."
The dining hall, the count approaches the hanging sarcophag and talks to it.
Dracul: "This is no a charade. I am the master of this castle. I am Lord Dracul, Count of Volga. And my authority will not be reserved. Look at me!"
He opens his cape.
Dracul: "Am I not glorious?"
He has one idea and opens the cage with one long stick, at least the eye-cover of it there.
Dracul: "This is not a charade."
Enough for Kai to aim his brace thing up to the chain that is holding the cage, and serves?? it.
The cage falls to the floor and opens itself. It takes a few seconds before Kai can pull himself off the stings. But finally he does. And he looks angry toward the count.
Dracul: "Oh bugger."

The mob finally reach the entrance gaie of the castle, Stan leading them.
Mob: "Dead thing pie!"...several times!
Guard on the other side of the gate: "Yes?"
Man: "Think, sport."
And they throw open the gate with sheer force. Muffy and Stan enter at last.
Stan: "That was easy."

Kai threatens the count with his brace thing. Aiming it at him.
Dracul: "I am not a vampire."
Kai: "Why do you pretend to be this Dracul?"
Dracul: "They... I am just an English actor. I... listen... I... I was paid for this job by the real owner of the castle. It is just a show to keep the peasants delight. As, you know, ..."
Kai lowers his brace arm.
Dracul: "I was offered 'Richard the third' at the National Theater and I turned it down just to do this bloody job."
Kai: "Where is the real owner?"
Dracul: "I don't know, I never met him. Renfield is the go-between."
Which suddenly enters from behind. And the actor turns back to his acting:
Dracul: "I am the master!"
Renfield: "You are not the master, you're a fool!"
Kai fires his brace at the throat of Renfield, grabs it.
Kai: "Where is the master?"
Renfield: "I... this is my castle. I am the only master. There was no go-between. This fool ruined to put the stupid peasants in their place."
Kai retreats his brace thing.
Kai to Dracul: "Is he the only master?"
Suddenly Stan and Muffy and have from the side entrance, and just see Renfield fire a little arrow at: Dracul. It hits.
Muffy: "Good shot!
Stan: "Oh, that's a switch. Five minutes ago you were ready to have his little vampire babies."
Muffy: "We love fangcies..."
Dracul: "That wasn't in my contract. Aaah."
And he falls down and is dead.
Now Kai seems really angry and aims his brace at Renfield who is fumbling on his arrow, it is stuck. He tries to reload it.
Kai: "Why did you shoot him?"
Renfield: "Because he was a bad actor."
Kai and Renfield fire at each other at the same time. But Kai is of course faster and penetrates Renfield's heart.
Stan: "Now that's what I call a good shot."
Muffy goes to the corpse of Renfield on the floor and watches him spread his blood. Then she leaves and Stan follows her.

The two girls and Xev on the bed.
Girls: "Joined us, Xev. Burn with us. Burn with us."
And Xev seems to enjoy it. The girls leaning over, touching her, kissing her body.
Girls: "Hold us. Join us."
Muffy from somewhere off: "Sisters!"
And the two leave Xev.
Xev: "Hey. - I was just starting to have fun."

Muffy inspecting the wet spikes of the sarcophag.
Muffy: "Were you in here?"
Kai opening the door: "Yes."
Muffy: "How did it feel like?"
Kai: "It was a penetrating experience."
Kai leaves, Stan behind him and Muffy grabs Stan's arm.
Muffy: "Thanks."
Stan: "For what?"
Muffy: "For rescuing me."
And she throws away the clean sweeper.
Stan: "Finally."
Muffy: "How can I show my gratitude?"
Stan: "Oh, in many ways."
Muffy: "Well, there is no time like the present, is there?"
Stan: "My thoughts exactly. - Juuuh."
And she leads him at the castle's main plaza. And into one of the chambers. Stan kisses her hand. She starts to remove her top.
Stan: "Ohah, mhmh! Oh, yesy, yeah, it's ... mhhmhm."
And reveals a tattoo on her waist, it resembles the cluster sign!
Stan: "That works."
He wets his lips.

Xev and Kai enter the main hall. Xev is now wearing her blue outfit again. (Where did she gets it from?)
Xev: "Have you found what you were looking for?"
Kai: "No."
Xev: "Is that a bad thing or a good thing?"
Kai: "It is not a bad thing."
Xev: "I am quite ready to leave Transylvania right now. Are you?"
Kai: "Yes."
Xev: "Good."
They hear Stan groaning.
Stan: "Twist it. Twist it."
Xev: "I was having the strangest dreams here. Sounds like Stan is finally getting some enjoyment."
Xev and Kai in front of the castle.
Davinia  and Mandragora wave from the top: "Bye-bye."
Xev and Kai turn around and look up.

The two girls smile and Muffy and Stan join them.
Muffy: "Smell my fingers."
Mandragora does and enjoys.
Mandragora: "Time to show the queen bitch."
They remove the garlic from Stan's neck and displays him to his friends downstairs.
Xev: "That was quick."
Stan takes his cap again and puts it on before replying, waving Xev and Kai.
Stan: "I am not finished yet, but I soon will be. I promise."
Xev nods.
And the girls take Stan with them inside the castle again.

Thunder and lightning illuminate a big cluster shaped portal on top of the castle. It opens deep into the core of the castle. Into a torch lit chamber. With a cryo pod inside! The three girls and Stan approach it.
An old woman voice: "I am weak. Why have you awakened me?"
The lid opens.
Mandragora: "Renfield's been lost."
Old woman: "Then you must replace him. You need not awaken me to do that."
Muffy: "We have replaced him. We woke you to tell our mistress, we have served you well. Very, very well."
And Muffy strifes with her finger over the lips of the old woman. Her finger still contains some of the proto blood of the spikes that penetrated Kai.
Old woman licks it: "More!"
Stan: "We can get you more. We can get you all you need."
He pushs the girls aside. To face to his new master directly.  And he grins.