Season 4 - complete transscripts of the eps
(transcription by Ramona Deininger ( http://www.crowwings.com) - spring 2004)

This is not meant to be any violation of courtesy or copyrights. The texts are still Salter Street Films / Paul Donovans / Lexx Gigeroffs - but the transscripts were my effort and work. Please keep that in mind when quoting or posting them!

4.04 - Stan Down

An old woman is walking on her lawn to a cat sitting in front of it and with a trail of food in her hands.

Old Woman: "Buttons, it's yummy-yummy-yummy time, Buttons."
The cat is drolling and meowing comfortable.
Old Woman: "Buttons. Look what Momsis made for her very special Buttons. Fresh catfish surprise."
She puts the trail in front of her pet. The cat starts growling.
Old Woman: "Don't you like your dinner, dinn dinns?"
The cat is crawling under a bush of the lawn, retreating from the woman and the food and disappearing under the brunches.
Old Woman: "Oh, Buttons!"
Then suddenly squeaky noises, we are familiar with now, the carrots, and the cat's uncomfortable screams. Then something appears from under the brunches again. It looks like the cat, but it is moving like a robot and the eye are little red bulbs, it is meowing in a mechanical way. The old woman however does not seem to notice any extraordinary behavior, she takes the cat on her arms and strokes it.
Old Woman: "Oh Buttons, oh Buttons. Is there something wrong with my poor little pussy?"
She kisses the mechanical cat on the back, which it is still twitching.

Trailer

At the White House, in the global office:
Reginald A. Priest is trying to improve his signature on a piece of paper, striking out several approaches before finally satisfied.
First Lady (the same one as from the "love grows" episode, the overweight woman) approaches his table: "Are you a man or a jelly fish?"
The president is confused, looking up: "What, Tweedy?"
First Lady: "Are you a man or a spineless, gutless jelly fish with no backbone whatsoever?"
The president thinks about it: "I am a man."
First Lady: "You are jelly fish! You take your orders from Prince, and why the head of the 'Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms' tells the President of the United States what to do, is beyond me. You are nothing but a snibbling dog, Reggie."
He barks. She finally leans over him beside his chair.
First Lady: "You give the orders, not Ethanbart Prince. And he and everyone else has to follow them."
Priest: "You really think, that is possible?"
First Lady: "Yes, you moron - you are the president!"
Priest: "That's right, I am."
A cleanser man, actually looking like Stanley H. Tweedle - at least with the very same red uniform, moves behind the presidential chair and rearranges the settings of the desk, serves the president a cup of tea. Cleaning everything.
First Lady: "If you are, you can get rid of Prince. And you don't have to take orders from him again."
Priest gets up: "You are right!"
First Lady: "Always."
Priest: "But how can I get rid of him?"
First Lady: "Anyway you want, Mr. president."
She starts padding his head. Then points with her eyes in the direction of the cleanser man. Priest turns toward him.
Priest: "Your country has an important mission for you!"
The cleanser man looks confused, is HE meant?

On the road to Orlando, '39 miles away' says a road sign, a family on a red jeep. A fat and annoyed boy on the back seat to his parents in the front (Daddy is driving): "Are we there yet?"
Mom: "Not yet, sweetie pie."
Mommy is eating some crackers, Daddy looks like being ready to explode.
Boy: "When are we gonna get there?"
Mom: "We get there when we get there, pumpkin."
Boy: "I want in the alligator pit, right now."
Mom: "Mommy and Daddy have promised, that you can, sweetie."
The boy yells: "The alligator pit! The alligator PIT!"
Mom: "We have to get there first, sugar."
Boy: "I'm hungry!"
The mother gives him the cracker bag.
Boy: "I hate those."
Mom: "Ouh, you love them!"
And she takes it back from him.
Boy: "I hate them. I want to shoot something."
The dad opens a drink can and all the liquor is sparkling into his face. Mother and the boy are hilariously laughing him into his wet face.

At the ATF headquarter, right behind a fence with a sign, saying: "trespasses will be shot" - in the head, a helicopter is landing.
Inside: Stanley is still chained several meters up on top of the wall. He almost falls asleep: "Oh, why can't this just be a dream? Why can't I just wake up on my own bed on the Lexx? This is definitely not my bed."
The hall door opens and Priest enters. The two guard men greet him: "Mr. president!"
Priest: "I'd like to have a word with prisoner Tweedle."
Guard: "Sir, I don't know if you have the proper clearance for that here."
Priest: "Look, hey, I am the president, and I can do what I want, and now leave me. Pfft."
He points them out and they really do leave.
Guard: "Yes, Sir."
Priest and the cleanser man now wearing a tuxedo - with his uniform underneath, stay behind. The door closes, but Priest opens it again and the two guard man are still there earsdipping on the other side.
Priest: "Cows, get out of here!"
And they leave - finally.
Stanley's platform part on the wall gets moved down by a mechanism, it stops a few meters over the ground.
Priest: "Stanley Tweedle, we have something in common. You and I."
Stan suspicious: "What?"
Priest: "Our strong feelings about Ethanbart Prince."
Stan: "Oh yes, I got some strong feelings about him, but not the same ones you have."
Priest: "Perhaps they are. I feel strongly that this planet would be a better place, - as far as both you and I would concerned, - if Prince were ... no longer here."
Stan: "What?"
Priest: "Let me ask you, Captain Tweedle, ... you don't mind if I call you that?"
Stan: "Ah, no. No."
Priest: "Captain Tweedle, could you use the Lexx to ... destroy Prince?"
Stan: "Yes, I think so. But if I do, what's in for me?"
Priest: "I'll make you a ... a king."
Stan: "A king of the whole planet?"
Priest: "Oh, no, not the whole planet. But you can rule your own country. That ... that great big island."
Priest is pointing to a kind of map on the wall where there is shown a part of the East Coast of North America.
Priest: "You can be King of ... new found land."
Stan: "What's it like?"
Priest: "It's a paradise. A beautiful island paradise of wine, women and constant song. Big sunny gardens all there around."
Stan: "Where are the women like?"
Priest gestures with his hands and forms very strong 'female curves': "Not very picky, if you know what I mean!"
Stanley smiles: "King of New ... New ... what?"
Priest is reading the name on the map again: "Newfoundland."
Stan: "King of Newfoundland, ha?"
He seems to like the ring of it.
They both smile at each other.

At the White House:
In front of it passes a tourism bus. Inside plenty of very well looking schoolgirls in their teen-age in sexy school uniforms. They pass the second bus where the door just opens and Xev and Kai are just getting out.
Old Man in front of them to his wife: "This way."
Xev: "So how do we find Stan?"
Kai turns around and asks another passenger just descending from the bus' interior: "Excuse me, I am looking for Stanley Tweedle. He is in this city. How could I find him?"
Black man: "Just get yourself a new hair do. Freako. - Hey, babe (to Xev)"
He wants to pass, but Kai doesn't let him. So the man is pushing him a few inches asight in his back to the entrance door of the bus. 
Black man: "Out of my way, bunnhead!"
And the man starts walking away. But not without Kai, now finally a little bit upset - he pulls out his brace thing and captures the man from behind. And puts the brace on the black throat.
Kai: "Who is in charge of this city?"
Man: "The president, in the White House. - Pennsylvania Avenue."
Xev is curiously examin the short and curled hair of the black man, while Kai still holds him tightly, off-balance.
Kai: "Thank you."
And lets him go.
Xev: "Nice work, Bunnhead."
Kai looks at her like ' yeah, you me too' ... and walks off.

Stanley holds a piece of paper with some handwriting on it. Priest turns it upside-down, so that it shows some nonsense lines with the presidential signature.
Stan: "So, this makes me King of ..."
Priest: "Newfoundland. - Yes, by my supreme, executive authority, I invest you as the King."
Stan is wearing the black tuxedo now over his red dress.
Stan: "Excellent. I'll call you as soon as I get back to the Lexx."
Priest: "How?"
Stanley enters the moth.
Stan: "Oh, we are much more advanced as you are. I can call right to your desk."
Priest: "OK and I will find out where Prince is."
Stan: "Find out exactly where."
Priest: "Exactly, yes."
Stan: "Time to close the book on Prince."
Stan closes the moth door and takes off.
Priest is smiling after him, while the hall roof opens, so the moth ascending fast and leaving the ATF headquarter buildings in the middle of a desolated industrial area.

In front of the White House the schoolgirls take plenty of photos of the building, when Xev and Kai get there. And Xev points up to the sky.
Xev: "Look!"
They see the moth flying over the Washington monument. Kai takes aim and fires his brace which stucks to an outer part of the moth. Stanley notices something is wrong! The moth slides furiously.
Xev: "Give me a ride?"
Kai: "Hold on tight!"
And Kai and Xev hug each other, - and Stan finally recognizes the new burden behind the moth: "Ah hey!"

Inside the ATFs headquarter, the big hall. Prince enters with the two guard men.
Prince: "You're sure it was the president?"
Sentinent: "Yes, Sir."
Prince: "What exactly where he and Stanley Tweedle talking about?"
Sentinent: "We don't know, Sir."
Prince: "Why not?"
Prince takes seat behind his desk.
Sentinent: "He asked us to leave the trim."
Prince: "Why didn't you come up here?"
Sentinent: "We didn't know, that was allowed, Sir."
Prince: "Well, next time that Stanley Tweedle and the president have a little chit-chat, you have my permission to come into this office. You can hear them quite well from here."
Sentinent: "Yes, Sir."
Prince: "Thank you."
He nods to them to retreat and they turn around and do so. When on his own again he switches on his big wall screen report with a news channel and a small picture within the pic, with the current status of Stanley H. Tweedle, still chained on the wall.

News man: ."..this ... just in, the sacred college of cardinals of the Catholic church have finally chosen a new pope. Although it is not a requirement of canon law, the college normally elects one of his own members as leader of the world's more than one billion Catholics. But in a surprised break from tradition, they have made a real estate agent from Miami, Genevieve G. Rota, the new holy Father of the Catholic church."
News interview on a street, a wild hair-styled woman yells, G. Rota: "I am His Holiness? I am the Father? Hahaha, I am the pope! Oh my goodness, I am the pope - I can't believe it!" And she throws a sign away with her name on it for a real estate offer. Takes out the stick and gestures with it, singing and dancing along the street.
G. Rota: "I am the pope, I need no dope! - Everybody! - I am the pope ! I am the pope, I ain't no joke. I offer hope, wine, wavers and water and wine. Kiss my ring and cross my height."
Cardinal: "We were deadlocked for a week between the cardinal of Valencia and the cardinal of Melano. It was getting slack tremonious. We decided to pay a compromised counter to render from the newspaper. Once conclave begins, no communication is allowed with the outside world and the only newspaper we had, was the real estate section of the Miami Herald. We chose Genevieve, because the name has a nice chatholic ring to it...."
Prince switches back to the screen with Stanley hanging on the wall. He picks up the phone: "Ethanbart Prince ... for the president."
Reciptionist: "I am sorry, Sir, the president ... away."
Prince: "Away? Where?"
Reciptionist: "Just 'away', Sir."
Prince: "The president didn't tell me that he was going away."
Reciptionist: "Would you like to leave a message?"
Prince just puts the phone on its receiver and takes a closer look on his screen with his prisoner on it, zooms in and ... finds out that the face is not Stanley's at all. He switches the screen off and walks into the hall.

While the moth is flying back to the Lexx behind the moon.

Back to the family on the road again: the farther is finally drinking fulliest of his can.
Mother: "We're going to Orlando this year, I promise. As which I said, your exact words. I assumed that meant that you wanted to go. - We said we were going to go - last year. Of course we didn't go anywhere last year. Exact as the year before, and the year before that, each time you had a reason, why you couldn't. You always have a reason why you can't do anything."
Boy: "The alligator pit. The alligator pit!"
Mom: "We are almost there, lummycans."
The boy yells while the mother is cleaning his mouth with a napkin: "The alligator pit. The alligator pit!"
Mother: "We all want to get to the alligator pit, sweetheart. That is if longish scum(??) isn't going to screw up this time, like he always does."
The father crashes the can in his hand ... 

The White House, the oval office.
First Lady: "That's your plan?"
Priest nods proudly.
First Lady: "That's the dumpest thing I ever heard."
Priest: "No, Sweety. (Priest gets up and walks around his desk toward his wife.) Captain Tweedle says his spaceship can fire a tiny little beam at precisely...
First Lady: "And you believed him?"
Priest: "Well, yes."
First Lady: "You know, I know, you're a dump, Reggie, but I had no idea you are actually retarded."
She grabs his ear hard.
First Lady: "How are you going to pinpoint Prince? Is he going to tell you precisely where he is?"
The telephone rings. Priest hurries to it.
Priest: "Yeah? - (He covers the receiver by his hand, to his wife:) - It is Prince."
Priest: "Ethanbart, how are you? ... And where are you?"
Prince: "I just called to tell you, I am in Miami for a couple of days to meet with some Cuban hit man."
Actually, Prince is sitting in front of his desk at the ATF headquarter, and playing with a plastic palm tree in his hand.
Priest: "Good good, fine fine, -- (covering the receiver) - He's gone to Miami. - So where in Miami are you ... exactly?"
Prince: "My meeting is taking place in a small yard about two miles of South Beach, - why?"
Priest: "Ah, Ethanbart, I got to go. Call me back."
Priest turns off and Prince takes a longer look on his receiver in his hand.
Priest: "Find a map."
First Lady: "This is crazy."
Priest: "No, it is not."
They find a school atlas in his desk drawers and pull it out.
First Lady: "It'll never work!"
Priest: "America. America... there. There it is."
He points at the Florida peninsula and nods.
Priest: "Miami, right there, on that land that sticks out."
First Lady: "That land, that sticks out, is called Florida. You don't know that, war hero?"
Priest: "Ah, no, 30 years on the jungle causes you to forget. ... Thanks."
And First Lady Tweety really does look a little bit impressed and sorry.

At the Lexx in orbit around the moon. Kai, Xev and Stan walk on the bridge, where the robot head is circling endlessly on his rollerboard.
Kai: "790."
790 sings: "Kai-olicious." - while Kai's head inside a red heart is shown on his eye screens. And a telephone suddenly rings on the bridge.
Stan: "Lexx, what was that?"
Lexx: "A communication signal, Stanley."
Stanley enters the control blossom: "Well, connect us."
Lexx: "As you command, Stan."

At the oval office, Priest is trying to contact Stanley via satellite telephone, holding the small plastic satellite saucer toward the sky.
Priest: "Stanley, Captain Tweedle, is that you?"
Stan: "Yes, yeah it's me."
Priest: "Prince is in a boat off Miami. I promise to call soon with his exact precise location. Are you listening?"
Stan: "Yeah. I am listening."
Priest: "Okay." and hands the saucer to his First Lady and picks up the regular telephone receiver with his other hand, while the first one is still holding the satellite thing, so that Priest can listen to both sides.
Priest: "Prince?"
Prince: "Yeah?"
Priest: "Are you still there, where you are? On the boat?"
Prince playing with the small palm tree in his hand.
Prince: "Yes. I'm still here."
Priest: "Sorry about that, I was on the other line."
Prince: "I am off the coast of Florida, that is the bit that sticks out at the bottom right on the corner of the United States."
Priest: "Off Miami, right?"
Prince: "Yes, I am in a small boat off South Beach."
Priest: "Could ... could you say exactly, how far off?"
Prince: "Why?"
Priest: "Well oh, ah, ah, I just like to know exactly, where on the cruise the old No. 2 man, I mean number one man, is."
Prince: "Ah, I see, just give me a moment here, please. My exact position is 25 degrees 45 minutes North by 80 degrees 16 minutes West. Did you get that?"
Priest: "I'm sorry."
Priest and First Lady hurrying to note the coordinates on a piece of paper: "Could you repeat that?"
Prince: "25 degrees 45 minutes North by 80 degrees 16 minutes West."
Priest: "Thank you, Ethanbart."
Prince: "Haha, it's my pleasure."
Priest: "I know ah, what was it, that you were calling about?"
Prince: "Oh, it's the Cubans, Sir."
Priest: "Oh, the Cubans, I see."
Prince: "Yes, the Miami Cubans. I am arranging for them to take care of a little problem for me."
Priest: "Aha, I see. Good good, fine fine."
The camera view goes underground, passing an old Indian grave, and from there enters Prince office straight underneath the Oval Office: at the ATF headquarter.
Prince: "It's the type of problem that their commands are experienced with, so I avoid you with the details just now."
Priest: "Yes, you'll handle it, you are my No. 1. Well, bye-bye, Ethanbart."
Prince: "Bye-bye."
Priest puts the regular phone back on the rack. To the satellite phone: "Did you get all that?"
Stan: "Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, I got that."
And Priest's close the connection.
Priest to the First Lady: "Now what do you think?"
First Lady: "I think you should have rotten in the jungles of Vietnam. And I should have married Dr. Schnappsklapper."

Now the Lexx is heading towards the planet Earth.
Stan: "OK, Lexx, I want you to fire a tiny beam at a teeny-weeny, tiny target."
Lexx: "I will always do as you command, Captain."
Stan: "Good, okay Lexx, I want you to fire your weapon."
Kai and Xev are watching him but now Xev is intervening.
Xev: "Stan, what are you doing?"
Stan: "Now, Xev, I know, that you think sometimes I make really stupid decisions. And I admit once or twice in the past maybe I could have done things a bit better. But trust me on this one. What I am doing is for the greater good of everybody."
Xev: "Do you mind if I ask how and what exactly you have in mind there?"
Stan: "I'm going to get the Lexx to fire a tiny, thin beam at a precise spot on that planet and then."
He's snipping his fingers.
Stan: "No more Prince!"
Xev: "You think, the Lexx can do that?"
Stan: "Xev, look, we did some target practicing a little while ago and the Lexx fired a tiny beam at a little object, which was really really far away, so this should be easy. - right, Lexx?"
Lexx: "I will do as you command, Stan."
Xev: "I don't know, Stan."
But she leaves him alone.
Stan: "Oh, come on, Xev, the Lexx and I are really good together."
Xev: "Oh, sure you are. What if it doesn't work? Then you end up killing thousands and thousands of innocent people."
Stan: "Look, Xev, the only chance that entire planet has, is with Prince out of the way. Now, you know, that's true."
Kai: "Are you sure, it is possible to kill Prince in a conventional sense?"
Xev: "You mean, after he is killed, he might be able to come back like he did on Fire?"
Kai: "Yes."
Stan: "Yeah, but we don't know for sure. And we shouldn't miss this chance. Besides I'm the captain of this ship. And I hereby declare by my supreme executive authority, that we are gonna blow up Prince, the ultimate embodiment of evil, who we know right now is on a little boat off the coast of Miami, Florida. Therefore make this planet a much better place for me, for you, for everybody. - Now, Lexx, you see that bit that sticks out there?"
Lexx: "Yes, Stan."
Stan: "Are you aimed at it?"
Lexx: "Yes, Stan."
Stan hesitates: "Good. OK, Lexx, I want you to fire a tiny, thin beam at 28 degrees by ... 45 minutes North ... by 81 degrees ...point ... 15 minutes West."
Xev shackes her head.
Lexx: "As you command, Stan."
And the Lexx fires a little small ring of fire. It is heading toward Florida.

Prince in the meantime tries to eat the little palm tree, but it doesn't seem to taste that well. And so he puts it back on top of his TV on his desk.
Priest and First Lady cover their ears in the Oval Office.
Kai, Stan and Xev watch and step forward.
Prince turns on his TV.
The family in the car: the boy's playing with his Game Boy on the back seat.
Mother: "Is that it?"
And she points out of the window in front of them.
Mother: "Oh, don't you just love it? It is just... it's beautiful."
Boy: "Alligator pit! Alligator pit! Alligator pit!"
Mother to her husband: "You are no fun at all, do you know that?"
And the beam is approaching their  location now. The father notices it first.
It hits right into Oregon, ahead on the road in front of the family. And a big nuclear fusion starts.
Stanley covers his head in pain: "Oh no ..."
The target is clearly not on the coast or at the sea but right in the middle of Florida.
A big fat alligator hits the car of the familie - at the front window from above. Mother is shocked, the daddy just starts to laugh hilariously. And the boy's crying. Heavy debris fall around them from all over the sky.

Oval Office, the phone is ringing.
Priest: "Prince?"
Just groaning and a whining is answering him on the other end. Priest and First Lady grin.
News on the TV screen: "We interrupted this program for a special news bulletin: moments ago a massive explosion seems to have completely eliterated the city of Orlando, Florida. Again, the city of Orlando, Florida has suffered a massive explosion."
Priest and First Lady sit down on the coach.
Priest: "Orlando?"
First Lady: "Idiot!"

On the Lexx:
Xev ironic: "Good shot!"
Stan: "Lexx, you hit the wrong place!"
Lexx: "I am sorry, Stanley. I tried my best."
Stanley gets down from his control blossom. Desperate. And covers his ears again.
Stan: "How could you miss?"
Lexx: "I like to blow up whole planets. That is what I was designed for. I will try again, if you like."
Stan: "No!"
790: "Congratulations, mass murderer."
Stan: "Oh, as if that matters to you! That's it. I'm out of here."
And he enters the command stand again.
Stan: "I've had it with this whole, stupid planet, I've had it with Prince, I've had it with everything. I say, we just get out of here right now and take our chances someplace else. - Lexx. Get us out of here now!"
Lexx: "I am very weak, Stanley. Unless I eat a lot more, I will not be able to go very far very quickly."
Stan: "Look, Lexx, we'll find you something to eat along the way, OK? Let's just, just, you know, just ... go."
Lexx: "As you request, Captain. But I will only be able to go very, very slowly."
Stan: "Well, as long as you are moving."
And the Lexx really does leave the planet. Slowly.
Xev: "Stan, I don't want to go just yet."
Stan: "Well, Xev, if you don't want to go just yet, you get on a moth and go down to that planet, but don't expect me to wait for you because I am leaving .. Right now!"
Xev: "All because Prince is still down there, right?"
Stan: "That alone would be good enough reason for me."
790: "I think, you should go both down there and stay."
Stan: "Oh, shut up, metal mouth!"
790: "I am sure the two of you would be perfectly happy there."
Xev: "Stan, turn the Lexx around."
Stan sits down on the bottom of the commands blossom.
Stan: "I'm sorry, Xev. We'll find you a nice place later on, OK? With no Prince on it. I promise."
The Lexx is very slowly retreating from the planet Earth.

In the White House, First Lady is hitting the president with a cleansing stick.
First Lady: "You low-grade idiot!"
Priest: "Oh, what?"
First Lady: "Prince is still alive! Not only that. You just blew up Orlando!"
Priest: "I tried my best, Sweety."
She is chasing him through the office.
First Lady: "Don't you call me 'Sweety'. You little war hero! - What are we gonna do, Reggie?"
Priest: "I don't know."
First Lady: "What are they gonna do to us when they find out? They gonna take all this away ... from me."
Priest tries to kiss her, but she steps on his shoe: "You'll go to the electric chair and I ain't be no First Lady anymore. And what will Prince do to us if he finds out?"
Prince: "Finds out ... what?"
First Lady and Priest unisono: "Prince!"
Prince at the entrance door: "Finds out ... what?"
Priest: "Uhh, nothing."
First Lady uncomfortable, caught in the act: "We thought, you were in Miami."
Prince: "Yes, but I am not."
He is approaching the both of them. Smiling.
Prince: "Mr. President, it appears that we had some spot of bother in Orlando."
Priest: "Yes, it's terrible, isn't it?"
First Lady: "It is awful."
Prince: "All those cute little plastic animals, melted in chart beyond recognition. Well - hehehe - do we have any idea what happened yet?"
Prince sits down on the presidential chair behind the desk.
Priest: "Uh no, maybe it just exploded by itself. You know, one minute it is there and the next minute it is pffft."
Prince: "Well, that is an interesting theory, Mr. President, but I doubt, that the people will except such an explanation, when something as terrible as this happens. Someone must be seen to pay for it, otherwise the public will not be satisfied. And as you know this is exactly the sort of little incident that gets the presidency into trouble."
First Lady approaches Prince on the presidential chair.
First Lady: "You are absolutely right, Ethanbart! The very presidency is at stake. That is far too big matter for our moronic president to take care of. I have a plan to turn this thing around."
And she starts stroking Prince blond, short cut hair.

Xev on the Lexx: "Leaving this planet without any idea where we are going is not a very bright decision."
Stan: "Too bad, I am captain, you are not."
Kai: "You may not be able to reach an life-bearing planet, unless the Lexx eats, Stanley."
Stan: "Oh, what do you care? You are dead!"
Kai: "You and Xev however ... are alive. It could take the Lexx many thousands of years to reach a suitable planet in its weakend condition. You will of course choose to enter cryo sleep, but the cryo pods may not continue to function properly for that length of time."
Stan: "OK then, I let the Lexx eat. Uuuhh."
And he stands up again on the control blossom.
Stan: "Lexx, is there something down there small enough you can eat, that is enough to keep you going at full speed?"
Lexx: "Yes, Stanley. I would be able to go full speed if I ate just that small little part of the blue planet. It has lots of green goodness. And yummy protein and not too many hard rocks."
790: "That land mass Lexx is referring to, is a country called Holland."
Stan: "Fine, Lexx, I order you ... to eat..."
Xev: "Wait a second. If that's a country, doesn't it possibly have lots of people?"
790 checking his data: "Holland appears to be densely populated. Which means it would supply Lexx with plenty of protein."
Stan nods.
Xev: "Stan you can't order the Lexx to just eat a country. That's mass murder."
Stan: "Well, Xev, maybe technically speaking it's mass murder but..."
Xev: "It's wrong, Stanley, and you know it."
She grips him on his uniform.
Stan: "It's a type 13 planet!"
Xev doesn't want to hear that and turns her back toward him, annoyed.
Stan: "Xev, it is doomed anyway. - Lexx, I order you to eat Holland."
Lexx: "As you request, Stan. And thank you. Holland looks very, very tasty."
Lexx turns around and aims for Holland.
Xev: "Kai, ..."
Kai seems to finally wake-up or something. And looks at Xev.
Xev: "If I asked you to, would you kill Stanley...?"
Stan: "Hey!"
Xev: "If you kill Stan, the key will come back to me, right?"
Stan protests: "Yeah? ... Hey, hey!"
Kai: "Yes, if I kill Stan the key will flow to you. And you will become captain of the Lexx."
Now finally Stan gets nervous. He leaves the blossom and goes to Kai.
Stan: "Oh, come on, but you wouldn't really do that, would you, Kai, old buddy old pal? You wouldn't kill me?"
Kai looks very serious.
Stan: "I mean, you are a FORMER assassin, right?"
And Stan pads him on the shoulder.
Kai: "Although I have no feeling for the people of Holland, I am aware that morally speaking it is not right to sacrifice a whole nation for one man's individual gain. Therefore ... if Xev were to ask me to ... I would."
Stan retreats. Holding up his hands in defeat.
Stan: "OK, Kai. I order you, not to kill me! So if Xev asks you to kill me, then the two orders cancel each other out, right?"
Kai: "Yes, but your choice to destroy Holland tips the scales. So ... "
Now Stanley is really afraid.
Kai: "... if Xev asks me to, I will kill you, Stanley."
Xev: "Turn the Lexx around, Stan."
Stan: "No."
Xev: "Yes!"
790: "Do them both, Kai. That is my vote."
Xev: "Oh, shut up!"
Stan: "Come on, guys, look, this isn't funny anymore. OK, look, we can't stay here, and we can't go, unless the Lexx eats. What choice do we have?"
Kai steadies his brace thing and starts walking towards Stanley. "Xev?" he asks.
Stanley runs away and shouts: "Lexx, seal the bridge!"
Lexx: "As you command, Stan."
Stan runs to one of the corners and just behind him the Lexx closes one of the entrances to the bridge with some kind of muscle or membran. Kai approaches the seal.
Xev: "I didn't know the Lexx could do that."
Stan clapps his hands and approaches the seal from his side: "Oh, Lexx, my friend, you are so full of surprises! - OK guys, I'm not gonna let you out until you promise not to kill me, OK?"
Xev is examining the seal from the bridge side. It seems transparent and full of little venes.
Stan shouts: "Guys? Look, I am doing this for your own good."
Kai: "Do you wish me to kill Stanley?"
Xev pointing at the seal: "What about this?"
Kai: "Such barriers are not meaningful to a divine assassin."
And he lifts his brace. Ready to shoot.
Stan triumphs: "OK guys, just, ... do I win or what?"
Xev hurries out of the way. Kai fires and his weapon, penetrates the seal as if it would be paper thin and graps Stanley on his throat on the other side.
Stan hurries: "Lexx, I command you not to eat Holland."
Lexx: "But I am very hungry, Stan."
Stan: "Sorry, Lexx, turn around and get out of this solar system as fast as you can."
Lexx really sounds very disappointed: "Oh, all right."
Kai retreats his brace thing. And Lexx turns around, heading away from Earth again.

At the White House at dawn. A couple of people are sitting on the couches while Prince is circling them.
Prince: "We invited you, our country's senior journalists, to come to the oval office today, so that the president could brief you privately on the tragedy at Orlando. - Mr. President?"
Priest behind his desk: "Yes? ... Thank you, Ethanbart."
Priest gets up.
Priest: "Ladies and gentlemen, we have go a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad situation here, but we found a way to save the presidency. Yes. It's a good day."
First Lady from the background: "Ah, what the president is saying, ladies and gentlemen, is, that we have learned, who is responsible for Orlando. We have the proof."
And she hands the president a videotape.
Priest: "Right here."
First Lady: "Why don't you play it for them, Reggie?"
Priest: "Right."
And he walks over to a VCR.
First Lady: "This tape was found by ATF agents in another political party's head office. One hour before Orlando was wiped out."
And the video shows: a very bad camouflaged Priest, trying to look like the Cuban leader with big Cuban cigars and a heavy beart in military green outfit.
Priest on tape: "This is general Juan Vendetta..."
The journalists make notes and one man states: "That's... that's a Cuban general."
Priest on tape: "... This is the Republic of Cuba..."
First Lady: "It's rageous."
Priest on tape: "... To reach the world of the Yankee capitalistos ... who always blamed Cuba for everything! ... And so in one hour we will use one of our Russian warheads from 1961 to blow up the city of Orlando. Florida. America. In one hour. We may blow up other cities of America or we may not, you will never know. ..."
Priest is clearly reading the text of his speech from out of screen frame: "... you swallow, you stupid Yankee Peak Dogs, I spit on you."
And he does on the screen.
Priest on-screen gets up and there is a window behind him showing the Washington Monument, some of the journalists get curious: "This to America, this to stupid Yankee Peak Dogs - in Orlando."
And he spits again. Priest on the screen leaves... and the tape still shows the monument in the background.
President Priest: "It was Cuba after all. Tststs."
Woman: "Wasn't that the Washington Monument in the background?"
Prince: "I think that was the shake of our monument in Havana."
Man: "How will you respond to this, Mr. President?"
First Lady hits him on his shoe, Priest: "Just throw me the damned football."
Priest gets him the football from a shelf, and opens it in the middle.
Priest: "We show them who is boss!"
It contains a control panel with digits on it.
Prince: "To authorize the launch codes please place your hand there, Mr. President."
And Priest does on a touch screen inside of the football.
Priest: "I herefore authorize the launch codes for operation 'cigarillo'."
He types in a few digits and then presses a red button.
Priest: "Adios, Cuba."
Now everybody is waiting. Prince takes the football back and shuts it.
Man: "America will respect you, Mr. President. You've done the right thing. No foreign grease balls gonna push us around. It is strong leadership at the right time from a real war hero."
And the journalist salutes the president. Priest does the same in return.
Woman: "I swear that was the Washington Monument."
Prince: "Have you seen my butterfly room?"
She shakes her head and smiles.
Prince: "You'll love it! - I am very good with butterflies!"
He takes her on her arm out of the room.
Priest and First Lady stay behind with the rest of the journalists, which applauds.

And the ATF headquarter in Prince's office on the big wall screen.
Newman: "... Hereby some other stories are following, but tonight's tradition of 'News Plus': The Dow Jones is up to 456 points, firefighters have been called in to retrieve a cat stuck in a powerline along A95, film at 11 and Cuba was nuked off the face of the Earth late this afternoon by President Priest in retaliation for yesterday's evil attack on Orlando. There's been no reaction so far from Havana. All this and your late local forecast coming up on NewsPplus."
Prince switches off his screen and his telephone rings.
Prince: "Yes."
Phone: "Sir, this is NASA, we thought we should inform you, that our readings indicate, that the Lexx at this moment has started moving away from the Earth."
That is no good news for Prince and he exhiles heavily.

The Lexx just leaves the moon behind when Prince calls in, and wakes up Stan on the control blossom.
Stan: "Prince."
He gets up on his feet. Besides him is Kai - and Xev is laying down on the floor
Prince: "Hello Stanley, it is nice to see you. And Kai. And Xev. You as well, of course! - So, we are leaving Earth, are we?"
Stan: "WE are!"
Prince: "That's a shape/shame."
Stan: "Oh, yes. I know."
Prince: "How so?"
Stan: "All I can say is that I am happy to be flying away from you."
Prince: "Oh but, Stanley, this planet is just so much fun."
Stan: "Well, some of us don't find it fun to be pinned to a wall and almost killed."
Prince: "That was just a little misunderstanding. - You mind tell me exactly where you are going?"
Xev: "The plan is: we are going to drift in space, until we find a nice planet."
Prince ironic: "That is a good plan. You must have worked on that for a long time."
Stan: "Well, we wouldn't have to drift if the Lexx came down there and ate Washington D.C. and you with it."
Prince: "Well, why don't you?"
Stan: "Well, we just might."
Prince: "I think, you should stay, Stanley. How would you like to be vice president?"
Stan: "Yeah, right, what's that?"
Prince: "A very important position with all the perks and privileges you could ever want."
Stan: "No deal."
Prince: "Xev? - You could be Queen of England."
Stan: "She is not interested."
Prince: "Queen of England owns her own beautiful island full of gardens and antiques. The position is currently filled but all it would take to free it up would be a couple of phone calls."
Xev seams to be a little bit interested actually.
Stan: "She is not interested in gardens or antiques."
Prince: "Then what do you care about, Stanley?"
Xev: "Why do you want us to stay, Prince?"
Prince: "Because I do."
Stan: "The fact is, Prince, as long as you are on that planet, we don't want anything to do with it."
Prince: "Oh, that stings."
Xev: "I have an idea. Kai, would you kill Prince, if we both asked you to?"
Kai takes a look at her: "Yes."
Stan: "Yeah, Kai, you could go down to Earth and do your assassin thing on somebody who really deserves it."
Xev: "Yes. Kai, go down to Earth and kill Prince."
Prince: "Oh, there is one small, tiny little flaw in your thinking."
Xev: "Which is?"
Prince: "You forget, I am the head of the most powerful institution on this planet, the Bureau of Alcoholic, Tobacco and Firearms of the United States of America. ..."
Stan doesn't seem to be very impressed. He shakes his head and mocks.
Prince: "And as such I have an immense capacity to protect myself. I can hide away so that you would never ever find me."
Xev to Kai: "Is that a problem?"
Kai: "No. As a divine assassin I performed many difficult assassinations. For instants: Ring Torbin, the rebel leader on Phoebe 27. Ring Torbin buried himself deep inside the molten core of the planet. He was protected by 50.000 men with robot controlled eye-arm weapons."
Stanley: "And?"
Kai: "I had to kill 2807 of his men before I killed him."
Stan laughs out loud.
Kai: "I can eliminate Prince with complete certainty in a short time."
Prince: "And if you kill me, what then? - You know, I can reborn whenever and however I want."
Kai: "That was true on the planet Fire. But is it true on Earth?"
Prince: "Yes, ... I think so."
Xev grins: "It can't be true on Earth. - Look, he is scared! You are scared, aren't you, Prince?"
Stan: "Yeah, Xev is right."
Prince: "You know, when you destroyed the planet Fire all of its evil, including me, came here. So it makes no difference. This planet will be just as bad, wether I live or die. I am just a drop in an ocean of badness or rather ... more of a bucket full."

Stan: "Oh, no no no no, you are wrong. You are just trying to talk us out of killing you."
Prince: "On the contrary, I am right."
Xev: "Kai, do you think he is right?"
Kai: "Yes."
And Kai walks away.
Prince: "So, good luck on your journey. You'll need it. Cheery bye."
And Prince cuts off the connection.
Xev: "Bye-bye, little blue planet."

At the White House again, Priest opesx a metal caseon his desk. Prince approaches him and closes the case. Priest looks up.
Priest: "You don't look happy, my Prince."
Prince: "I'm not. Why did you blow up Orlando?"
Priest: "What do you mean?"
Prince: "I know, that you got Stanley Tweedle to blow up Orlando."
Prince circles the desk towards Priest.
Prince: "My only question is, precisely ... why."
Priest sits down on the desk surface
Priest: "Ohoh, but ... just to cause trouble, my Prince, you know, screw things up. Great chaos, just like you always want."
Prince: "Really?"
Prince leans over Priest's ear.
Prince: "I think that you wanted to get rid of me."
Priest: "Uhh. No..."
Prince: "And you thought, I was in Miami, didn't you?"
Priest: "Ah, well yes, but..."
Prince: "And you got Stanley Tweedle to fire one of the Lexx's shots at me. Only it missed and took out Orlando. Am I getting warm?"
Priest is afraid: "I don't know what to say."
Prince: "You say: you're right, my Prince."
Priest: "You are right, my Prince. But that was the First Lady's idea. All hers, only hers!"
Priest starts whining and falls on his knees in front of Prince.
Priest: "Forgive me, my Prince!"
Prince takes Priest's chin in his hand.
Prince: "I am not very good at forgiveness. Especially as your little prank has stranded me on this planet. Because of you I'm stuck here. Do you understand?"
Prince pulls Priest up on his ear. And hugs him.
Prince: "You have to be punished."
Priest: "Yes, of course, my Prince. I deserve it. What's my punishment?"
Prince: "Have you ever been to Dallas?"
Priest: "What's Dallas?"

At 400 Elm Street in Dallas - that is the corner where JFK was shot in 1963.
Prince: "I am aware that this is not to the usual protocol. But I am issuing this specific order for the Secret Service and the CIA and the FBI and the Dallas police to stand down. - Thank you."
In a cabriot-lmousine Prince is ending a phone call. He sits in the front seat beside the chauffeur and at the back Priest and his First Lady, she's wearing a very pinky outfit. It looks exactly like the one, Jacky Kennedy was wearing several decades ago at this very same corner. Just not the same size though. And she is chewing some crackers.
Prince: "So, Mr. President, welcome to Dallas."
First Lady: "What a dump."
Prince: "True. But Dallas plays an important part in American history."
Priest: "Is that right?"
Prince: "Mh. Have you ever heard of JFK?"
Priest: "No. ... Maybe."
Prince: "22nd of November1963?"
Priest: "Should I have?"
They cross a streets sign to the airport, and a few ATF agents are positioned there. Talking into their headphones.
Prince: "Well, once upon a time there was this president called JFK. And this president had a very bad habit of not following orders."
Priest: "Uhhh, that's not good."
Prince nods: "No, consequently he had to be punished."
The car stops.
Prince: "Just about here. As a matter of fact."
Prince puts on a bullet proof vest. And finally First Lady gets uncomfortable, regognizing, where she is!
First Lady: "Ohoh."
Priest: "What?"
First Lady: "Oh no!"
Priest: "What?"
She yells and throws the crackers away: "Quick, change seat."
Priest: "Why?"
First Lady: "Don't argue with me. Just do it! - Quick."
And she changes her seat with him in a very hurry.
Prince: "And I brought you here because I thought this whould be perfect spot to ask you a question."
Priest: "What question?"
Prince: "Do you think, you can follow orders?"
Priest: "Yes, yes of course, my Prince. I'll do anything you say."
Prince: "Oh, I wish I could believe you."
First Lady: "Look, Reggie just agreed with you, what more do you want? Now let's get going."
Prince: "I really want to trust you, Mr. President. I really do."
First Lady: "You can trust him! You can trust him."
Prince: "I am speaking to the President. - The lesson to be learned here is that even kings can be killed. It's been that way for thousands of years. Regi-suide happens all the time. Especially to the stupid ones who don't know to follow orders."
Prince points with his fingers in the shape of gun towards Priest's forehead.
Prince: "Bam."
And several ATF agents jump up behind fences and corners and library windows with guns, firing at the open car. Prince covers under his military metal cap.
The First Lady and Priest are jumping and changing sides and seats again. Crackers fly all over them. The chaos. But finally Priest manages to put the First Lady in front of him as a protection shield. She gets hit several times. And screams.
First Lady moaning: "Why here, oh my ass..."
She sinks into Priest's lap.
Priest: "Oh, well, I think, she's dead."
Prince: "So sad."
Priest: "I'll get over it!"
And Priest throws her away.
Prince: "A lesson well learned, wouldn't you say?"
And the car starts moving again. They both laugh.
Prince: "I condulence you on your First Lady. Time to trade up."
Priest: "Yes. Excellent idea, my Prince. I'll trade up."
Prince: "And you'll always remember, who is in charge."
Priest: "Yes, yes of course, my Prince."
Priest kisses Prince's hand several times.
Priest: "You are my Prince!"
Prince is getting annoyed: "Yes. Yes. Yes. Thank you."

At the desk of a scientist. Or a doctor's room (Dr. Schnappsklapper ??) is filling up his glass of whiskey on the rocks.
Doctor: "Uh, yes."
He drinks it. A knock on the door.
Doctor: "Come in."
And he hides the glass and the bottle of whiskey in his desktop drawer.
The old woman from the beginning of this episode walks in with the mechanical Buttons cat on her arm. So, Doc is a vet!
Old woman: "There is something wrong with my pussy, Doctor."
Doctor: "What seems to be the problem?"
Old Woman: "Well, I don't know. He is going off his food, he doesn't purr anymore. And he walks all stiffly. And sometimes he just flies round and round the room."
Doctor: "I beg you pardon?"
Old Woman: "He is not to my precious little pussy Buttons anymore."
Doctor: "Well, let's take a little look, shall we?"
She puts the cat on the examination table. The Doctor takes another sip of his whiskey glass before starting.
Doctor: "So, how is Buttons today, ha?"
Old Woman: "You'll gonna do something, Doktor."
And he is examine the belly of the mechanical cat.
Doctor: "Oh yes, there seems to be something a little off here."
Old Woman worries: "What? What?"
Doctor: "There seems to be something inside Buttons."
Old Woman: "Oh no, oh no."
The back of the cat opens. Alot of splatter and gore, the cat desolves into its skeleton and out comes: a little orange carrot with metal spider legs on its sight and an eye on the bottom.
It jumps at the blood blinded doctor and the old woman, who is much too slow to escape.